M&S release crossless buns for atheists

In an effort to be more inclusive, Marks & Spencer have released crossless buns for atheists to enjoy over the Easter weekend.

A twist on the traditional hot cross bun, the new concoction has gone down a treat with non-believers, who have turned up in their droves at M&S stores all over the country.

“We’re absolutely thrilled,” said atheist Simon Williams, tucking into a crossless bun.

“They’re always dicking about with hot cross buns. Red velvet hot cross buns, lemon curd hot cross buns, marmalade hot cross buns. It’s only fair that atheists should get their own variation as well.

“Everyone knows atheists love to talk about how atheist they are, so this is a great way of bringing it up. Usually when the conversation goes quiet I randomly blurt out, ‘Did you know I was an atheist?’ But now I have the perfect segue into the conversation. It’s so useful for our community.

“Next I want an atheist-themed Christmas tree. Obviously I could just choose not to put one up, but I have to admit, Christmas trees are quite fun. Maybe instead of an angel I could put a little Richard Dawkins on the top. It’s what Jesus would’ve wanted.

“Wait, no. Scratch that last part.”

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