Chuck Norris beats the crap out of Satan

Chuck Norris has started as he means to go on in the afterlife by beating the living crap out of Satan, according to reports.

Satan, who was widely tipped to make war on creation on the day of the final judgement, is currently picking up his teeth and promising to turn over a new leaf after encountering Norris on the other side of the River Styx.

“I juft didn’t see it coming,” the Lord of Flies told us whilst mopping up his blood.

“Thsf guy, he’s juft a mortal, right? I’m supposed to be judging them.

“But nooo, he shows up, takes one look, and the next fing I knew there was a size twelve in my face.”

Norris is understood to have made a list before kicking a hole into the great beyond, with key demonic figures including including Beelzebub, Abaddon, Apollyon and Belial rumoured to be on it.

“I’ll tell you what,” Saint Michael told us from a nice safe distance.

“When Chuck teams up with his old friend Bruce Lee, there will literally be Hell To Pay.”

Advertisement

Classic BritishComedy tees

Celebrating the best of British comedy from the 70s, 80s, 90s and beyond.

See the full collection →