Donald Trump delighted to win FIFA’s inaugural “World’s Bestest President” award

FIFA has confirmed it has accidentally invented a new unit of international diplomacy after presenting Donald Trump with its first-ever “World’s Bestest President” award, an honour specifically designed to make one man very happy and several billion people quietly ask what on earth they just watched.

The award, personally imagined into existence by FIFA president Gianni Infantino during a bout of heavy compliments, was granted to Trump for what FIFA described as “leadership, greatness, unbelievable strength, and being very, very special,” all of which were read directly from a Post-it note handed to Infantino by a nervous aide.

Trump, visibly delighted, accepted the large and hastily made gold medal the size of a small dinner plate, before explaining that he had not only brought peace to the world, but peace had personally thanked him afterwards.

“People are saying it’s the best presidency ever,” Trump said. “A lot of geniuses are saying that. FIFA knew it. That’s why they made this award. They had to.”

Sources inside FIFA confirmed the organisation discovered that Trump can be persuaded into virtually any position you want, as long as you begin the sentence with “Sir,” follow it with compliments and prolonged applause, and end by telling him he’s already won.

“If kissing his ass keeps the World Cup running smoothly, we’d award him Best Pope, Best Astronaut and Best Bake Off Winner if necessary,” said one unnamed FIFA official, polishing the medal just in case Trump needed reminding it was real.

Meanwhile, MAGA supporters, who are traditionally fierce opponents of “participation trophies”, have enthusiastically embraced the award, insisting this one is different because it’s international, shiny and confirms what they already believe.

“This isn’t a participation trophy given for the sole reason of keeping happy a participant who didn’t win a real award,” said one supporter. “It’s a victory trophy for being the most amazing at everything. Totally different.”

FIFA is now reportedly considering further honours including “Strongest Handshaker,” “Most Trusted Man in History,” and “Guy Everyone Agrees With Constantly,” pending budget approval and ego requirements.

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