Prison Break reboot to see Lincoln Burrows walk out the front door after becoming a convicted sex offender

Producers of the hit drama Prison Break have confirmed a gritty UK-based reboot, in which protagonist Lincoln Burrows no longer tunnels through walls, outruns machine-gun fire, or hides cryptic maps in his tattoos. Instead, he’ll stroll out the front door after being accidentally released by prison admin because someone “clicked the wrong bit on the spreadsheet.”

“We wanted to modernise the premise,” said the show’s executive producer, Simon Williams, who described the new version as “less action thriller, more workplace farce.”

He went on, “In the original, Lincoln’s brother spent entire seasons dodging authorities, decoding conspiracies, and digging through concrete. Our reboot has him handed his release papers because he’s a sex offender and Gavin from HR misread his name.

“The suspense comes from whether he waits for his Uber, or walks.”

The series was inspired by recent real-life events, in which two prisoners – Brahim Kaddour-Cherif, a convicted sex offender, and William Smith, a fraudster – were mistakenly freed from Wandsworth Prison because that’s just how secure these places are these days.

Justice Secretary David Lammy insisted the situation was “under control,” adding that new safeguards would be introduced. These are thought to include double-checking the names, not pressing ‘enter’ blindly, and sticking Post-it notes on computers reading: ‘Do not release sex offenders by accident.’

The reboot’s pilot episode features Burrows being escorted to the front gate, guards waving cheerfully, and one officer saying, “Best of luck out there, apparently you’re due back next Tuesday?”

The show ends on a cliffhanger as officials realise they’ve actually released the wrong prisoner, and burly tattooed Lincoln is spotted browsing meal deals in Tesco, while the admin team frantically searches for the “undo” button.

A spokesperson for the Ministry of Justice promised that lessons have been learned. Specifically, “We will try extremely hard to stop doing that.”

The public remains reassured. Mostly because if they ever get sent to prison protesting against the government, they can probably get out again pretty easily.

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