Keir Starmer denies slow response times whilst praying for safe rescue of the Chilean miners

Keir Starmer has hit back at critics accusing him of slow response times, whilst taking the time to hope for the safe return of the trapped Chilean miners.

The Prime Minister has been criticised for taking too long to dismiss Lord Mandelson and also taking too long to respond to Elon Musk’s comments at the Unite the Kingdom rally. However, Starmer is completely adamant that his response times are adequate. 

“I completely disagree that I take too long to do things,” said Keir Starmer, taking down his Christmas tree.

“I don’t like to be rushed. It takes a lot of thought deciding whether or not to sack someone who was best pals with a convicted paedophile. I mean, what do you want me to do? Not hire him in the first place? And don’t even get me started on the comments made by Elon Musk. I responded to that quickly and promptly, a full 48 hours after he said those words.

“Look, at this present moment, my full attention is on those poor Chilean miners trapped 2,000 feet underground. I just can’t imagine what they’re going through right now. Oh, they’ve already been saved? 15 years ago you say? 

“Okay, maybe they’ve got a point.”

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