King Charles duped into tea with Prince Harry after believing he’d be meeting Paddington Bear

Palace insiders report that King Charles endured the most disappointing teatime since the cucumber sandwiches ran out at Sandringham in 1987, after being tricked into meeting Prince Harry while under the impression he would be hosting Paddington Bear.

The King, still nostalgic for his late mother’s famous Jubilee sketch with the marmalade-loving bear, allegedly raced to the tea table with ‘the giddy energy of a man who thought he was about to meet actual royalty’.

Instead, he was greeted by Prince Harry – described by one aide as ‘a ginger man in a suit, with a transatlantic accent and considerably fewer manners’.

“His Majesty looked crestfallen,” said royal aide Simon Williams.

“He’d been rehearsing bear-related small talk all morning, such as ‘How many sandwiches can one really fit under a hat?’ When Harry walked in, the King muttered, ‘Oh bloody hell, it’s the spare’.”

The two have not shared a pot of Earl Grey in 19 months, their relationship having been strained ever since Harry moved to California and released a tell-all memoir, describing life in the royal household as ‘a mix of being in The Truman Show and being in a zoo’.

Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex, was notably absent from the rendezvous. She was reportedly busy at the couple’s home in Montecito, ‘elevating’ some yoghurt by sprinkling flowers on it.

The tea itself was said to be stilted. Charles offered Harry a marmalade sandwich, to which Harry replied that he was ‘more of an avocado-toast guy now’. The King then tried to make the best of things by asking Harry if he’d ever considered wearing a duffle coat.

Royal-watchers are now speculating whether Prince William could be lured to meet Harry, with promises of Thomas the Tank Engine.

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