Revolving door on Keir Starmer’s Downing Street office now spinning so often it qualifies as a wind turbine

Downing Street has today confirmed that the Prime Minister’s office has achieved net zero, not in carbon emissions, but in the length of time any of his top aides manage to last in the job.

Sir Keir Starmer is preparing to replace his third senior aide in less than a year, after principal private secretary Nin Pandit joined the rapidly expanding alumni club of “once-important people who now need to update their LinkedIn.”

The constant rotation has become so fast that the No.10 revolving door has been officially reclassified as a renewable energy source, capable of powering up to 600 homes in North London every time another senior staffer resigns “to spend more time with their diary management app.”

A Labour spokesperson insisted the churn is simply evidence of Starmer’s “dynamic leadership style,” explaining: “Keir is committed to creating thousands of jobs for hard-working Brits, just not for very long, and mostly within his own office.”

One insider added, “Honestly, it’s not chaos. He just finds hiring and firing top aides more enjoyable than dealing with inflation, immigration, or explaining why his party still polls like a lukewarm cuppa.”

Critics, however, say the Prime Minister risks being remembered less as a statesman and more as Britain’s most enthusiastic HR manager, with one noting, “If this carries on, the CIPD will be asking him to keynote their next conference on best practice in short-term employee disappointment.”

Meanwhile, the Department for Energy is reportedly exploring whether strapping a few more aides to the No.10 door might finally solve the UK’s power shortages.

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