Keir Starmer meets with Nigel Farage to see what he’s supposed to do next

Prime Minister of Great Britain Sir Keir Starmer has met with Nigel Farage, the leader of a party with five MPs, to find out what he’s supposed to do next.

“Mr Farage wanted us to be really, really horrible to foreigners,” said an aide to the PM.

“We’ve done as we were told, and now Sir Keir’s gone to see Mr Farage again to see what he wants us to do next.”

The aide admitted that the Labour leadership was very impressed with Nigel Farage.

“Oh yeah. He’s brilliant. He smokes cigarettes and everything. Like normal people do. We think he’s really smashing. So, it’s important that we do what he tells us.”

It’s rumoured that the new instruction for Sir Keir from Mr Farage will be to destroy the environment.

“Well, I haven’t seen the PM since the meeting,” admitted the aide.

“But, yes, I think that’s what he wants next. Mr Farage hates the environment for some reason. I don’t really understand why, but then I’m not as brilliant as Nigel Farage.

“So, yes, I think our next job will be to abandon the net-zero targets and smash up the environment. We’ll probably just build a load of piles of tyres and set fire to them.

“Bit weird, but whatever Mr Farage wants, Mr Farage gets.”

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