World begging Trump to sit out India-Pakistan feud

The entire world is begging Donald Trump to sit out the India-Pakistan feud following his previous futile attempts at brokering peace in Ukraine and Gaza.

India announced yesterday that it would be closing their main border with Pakistan after 26 people were killed by gunmen in Indian-administered Kashmir, with everyone now crossing their fingers that the US president doesn’t get involved.

“We’re sincerely hoping he hasn’t seen or read the news today,” said political journalist Simon Williams.

“Let’s face it. We all know how this would end. He’d invite someone to the White House, shout at them for hours about not showing the US enough respect, before some random conservative journalist scolds them for not wearing the correct attire inside the Oval Office.

“I mean, we’re talking about a guy who put tariffs on a bunch of penguins here. Is he really going to resolve decades of hostility? I think it’s best that we just pretend everything is fine with India and Pakistan so he can concentrate on fucking up relations in Europe and the Middle East. 

“As far as Trump knows, Kashmir is just the fabric used to make his jumper and nothing more. Let’s keep it that way, yeah?”

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