Penguins hit back at US with retaliatory 10% tariffs
by Nathan Cowley 2 years ago 
A colony of penguins have hit back at Donald Trump’s tariffs on the Heard and McDonald Islands by imposing their own retaliatory 10% tariffs on all imports from the US.
After President Trump announced worldwide tariffs this week, which included the uninhabited Heard and McDonald Islands, the penguins decided to put their feet down by introducing measures of their own.
“Don’t fuck with us,” seethed one penguin from the Heard and McDonald Islands.
“We’ve had quite enough of this guy running his mouth off every chance he gets. We were about to close a huge deal to import fish into Chicago, but now that’s ruined isn’t it?
“Trump is in for a big shock if he ever steps foot on our islands. The residents of Greenland will look very welcoming compared to the slap he’ll get from me. I don’t mind getting a big clump of foundation on my flipper. Bring it on, mate.
“We had a lot of respect for President Biden. He came over a few times to have a look around. Nice chap. But this big orange nepo baby doesn’t sit right with me. The macaroni penguins have even started shaving off their blonde hair in case it’s misinterpreted as support for him.
“This is the worst thing to happen to penguins since Happy Feet 2.”
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