Laurence Fox and Joey Barton share a mugshot
by Nathan Cowley 2 years ago 
The police have decided to kill two birds with one stone by having Laurence Fox and Joey Barton share a mugshot.
The decision was made following the news that Laurence Fox had been charged with a sexual offence, whilst former footballer Joey Barton was found guilty of assaulting his wife.
“It just makes practical sense,” said police officer Simon Williams. “We thought it would save everyone a bit of time.
“Besides, the police are so underfunded that we’re still using an old Polaroid camera. There’s no point wasting film if we can just huddle them into the same photo.
“For some reason they refused to smile. I tried everything I could. I made funny faces, fart noises, you name it. I even showed them some clips of Barton playing for Rangers. Not even a smirk.
“It was a bit awkward when I handed Fox a pen to sign the paperwork. The poor bloke thought I was asking for his autograph, bless him. He muttered something about being in a show called ‘Lois’ or some shit, but I’d never heard of it.
“Anyway, I’d better get back to work. We’re expecting Russell Brand back in here any day now.”
Yet more NewsThump stories
World prepares for imminent US attacks on Iran after Trump describes them as ‘highly unlikely’
Trump tackles voter concern over excessive cruelty in immigration policy by promoting man responsible for it
AI finally finds ‘true purpose’ in British society by helping people complain more efficiently
Businesses warn publishing salaries will attract applicants who are only interested in being paid
Those who insisted “innocent until proven guilty!” assert Russell Brand’s innocence despite proven guilt
