Keir Starmer seen awkwardly crawling between arguing Trump and Zelensky after leaving phone on Oval Office table

author avatar by 2 years ago

Keir Starmer has been spotted crawling between Donald Trump and Volodymyr Zelenskyy after forgetting his phone on the Oval Office table.

The tense exchange between Trump and Zelenskyy – in which the US president accused the Ukrainian president of “gambling with Word War Three” – was somewhat overshadowed when the Prime Minister began crawling into the Oval Office whispering “Sorry… sorry… sorry!”

“Silly me,” said a blushing Keir Starmer. “I’m always leaving the bloody thing lying around. 

“In hindsight, I probably should’ve waited a few minutes until all the shouting stopped, but my Duolingo streak was at stake. So, if Donald and Volodymyr are reading, this I just want them to know that I’m… lo siento mucho.

“I don’t think it was even that noticeable. Even though I got a few strange looks from the press, I’m pretty sure I got away with it because I crawled down behind the chairs. Apart from when I knocked all the folders off the table, obviously. 

“The worst part was when I accidentally grabbed Trump’s phone and then had to crawl back in and switch them back again. The poor guy hasn’t got any Tinder matches yet. Although, he did pretty well Photoshopping the six-pack onto his profile picture.

“Anyway, I wasn’t able to hear much. How’s the peace deal going?”

Yet more NewsThump stories