Keir Starmer set for Oval Office meeting with Elon Musk’s four-year-old son

Keir Starmer has arrived at the Oval Office for crunch talks with Elon Musk’s four-year-old son.

The Prime Minister landed in Washington with hopes of discussing important issues like the safety of Ukraine and rising tensions with Russia, though his plans were soon side-lined after X Æ A-Xii demanded to watch Bluey.

“It was a very productive meeting,” said Starmer, giving X a piggyback.

“He didn’t seem to know much about what was going on in Ukraine, but then again, neither did Trump. 

“Most of the meeting was spent calling me ‘poopy nose’ and wiping bogeys onto the Resolute desk. At one point he punched me in the bollocks just for a laugh.

“It’s a funny old life. One minute you’re in Downing Street announcing a historic rise in defence spending, the next minute you’re in the Oval Office cutting the crusts off a four-year-old’s sandwich to stop him from screaming. 

“I suppose the visit wasn’t a complete waste of time. At least it reminded me to get a vasectomy.” 

Elon Musk, whose kids all have stupid fucking names, was criticised for bringing X Æ A-Xii to the White House earlier this month during a press briefing about extensive government cuts. 

“I’m not thrilled the United States is being governed by a four-year-old,” Starmer admitted. 

“But the American people voted for President Trump, so we have to respect their decision.”

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