‘Water bills may have to rise,’ says water company CEO as he flicks through Lamborghini brochure

The CEO of leading water company, Bastard Water, has suggested that there is a good chance that bills for customers may have to rise by several hundred per cent.

The CEO, Jeremy Shithead, made the comments in a press conference as he idly flicked through a brochure detailing the latest Lamborghini models.

“Jesus, look at that, I bet it really shifts,” he said, after making the comments about potential bill increases.

“I’ll probably need to build an extension on the garage, but it’ll be worth it. Definitely,” he continued.

“And, of course, the girls will absolutely love it. If I pulled up at the White Hart in that, they’d be all over me. I’d love to see Evelyn’s face when I’m driving through the village in that with some young piece of crumpet.”

He then noticed that one of the reporters present had asked a question about how the people on the breadline would be able to afford a further increase in their bills.

“I don’t – That’s not really my problem, is it? Perhaps they could get a second job? Something like that? Sell something? I don’t know.”

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