Reform voters determined to overcome the challenge of drawing an ‘X’

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Reform voters are going all out to make sure they can draw a cross correctly on their ballot papers today.

With the polls open, and morons everywhere keen to vote for the acceptable face of racism, the challenge is on to ensure their vote is placed correctly.

“I’ve been practising for weeks,” said Reform supporter Derek Williams, 67.

“I don’t want it get it wrong and lose Nigel and Richard a vote.

“It’s been a struggle, I’ll admit. Did you know an ‘X’ is the same even when you write it in foreign? Disgusting. What’s wrong with a nice British mark, like a pound sign?”

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Reform leader Nigel Farage is said to be worried that many of his supporters may find the challenge of drawing a cross on their ballot papers too much, resulting in potentially thousands of spoiled papers.

“I can manage one cross,” said Mr Williams, “but I’m not sure I can stop there and prevent myself adding to it. Like putting kisses on a birthday card.”

Percy Wilson, 68, said he is determined to get it right on Thursday because at the last general election he ‘messed up’ and his vote was disallowed.

“I don’t know what I could have been thinking of,” he said, “but instead of a cross, I went and done a swastika in the middle of the page instead.”

Non-Reform voter Simon Williams said he’d been countering the Reform vote outside his polling station by telling Reform supporters to put a cross next to any name that sounded a ‘bit foreign’.

“I told them it was the only way to ‘stop them getting into power’ – you have to ‘cross’ them out. Otherwise, the EU wins.

“Yeah, I know. But it’s about as honest as everything else Reform has done,” he admitted.