Rishi Sunak still not dry

Rishi Sunak still hasn’t dried out properly.

“I’ve literally never seen anyone so get so wet before,” said an aide.

“When he came in, there was actually water coming out of his ears, out of his nose, out of his- well, anywhere that water could pour out of a man, he had water pouring out of it. It was crazy.”

Number 10 staff immediately got to work drying the PM out.

“We stood him in the middle of a room for an hour and surrounded him with industrial heaters. I mean, that helped a bit, but even after that, you could still see water dripping from his hair. I’ve never seen anyone so wet in my life.”

Despite the staff’s best efforts overnight, Mr Sunak is still wet.

“I’ve seen him this morning, and he’s making that squelching noise when he walks. He sat in the Cabinet room for 15 minutes, and he left a little puddle on the chair.

“I honestly don’t know how long it’s going take to properly dry him out at this rate. It’s going to be days.”

The aide admitted that they should have checked the weather before sending Mr Sunak outside to make the election announcement.

“Well, yes, we were going to check the weather but, unfortunately, it’s on the BBC, and apparently they’re all communists, so we’re not allowed.”

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