Donald Trump releases $500 clown shoes

author avatar by 2 months ago

Donald Trump has announced the release of a limited edition set of oversized clown shoes, to sell to his simpleton supporters at a modest $500 per pair.

The shoes, which are said to be handcrafted by the finest clown cobblers in the land, are part of Trump’s latest fundraising effort, aimed at tapping into what he describes as “the bigly intelligence of my most devoted followers” following his massive $355 million fine by New York state.

The shoes, dubbed “Trump Treaders” come in a vibrant palette of red and gold, featuring a patented “Ego Boost” technology that promises to inflate the wearer’s sense of self-importance with every step.

Also included is a special “Bone Spur mode” which activates to rescue the wear whenever they are presented with a dangerous situation. It doesn’t actually give you bone spurs, but instead pays a friendly doctor to say you definitely have them.

“These are the best shoes, folks. Everyone says so,” Trump declared at the launch, his feet adorned in the prototype pair, which squeaked harmoniously with each pivot.

NewsThump Hoodies

Critics have raised eyebrows at the price tag, suggesting that $500 could be better spent on literally anything else.

However, for former President’s supporters have rallied behind the initiative, praising Trump for his innovative approach to fundraising and his unwavering commitment to the American tradition of rampant capitalism.

“It’s not just about the shoes,” claimed supporter Chuck williams, adjusting his MAGA hat. “It’s about showing loyalty to the greatest president of all time. Plus, they’re really cool.”

Proceeds from the sale of the Chinese-made “Trump Treaders” will reportedly go towards funding “very important things, the best things,” though specifics remain as elusive as the former president’s tax returns.

Meanwhile, opposition politicians have hailed the release of the shoes as a “step in the right direction, as long as that direction is taking him towards the nearest circus.”