After Prince Andrew was named in the Epstein files, his legal team have insisted it wasn’t a party, but a ‘work meeting’.
The ninth in line to the throne previously settled a civil trial in America to deny claims of the sexual abuse of Virginia Giuffre, by giving millions of pounds to a woman he claims never to have met.
Simon Williams, one of the solicitors on Prince Andrew’s legal team who is naturally being funded by taxpayer money, outlined the possible difficulties he might face following the publication of the Epstein files.
“He’s up against it somewhat,” he told us, with a grimace, “and he’s already sweating a shitload.
“For a start, there are photos of him with his accuser, a slimy grin plastered over his smug entitled face, and then you have his odd line of defence that he couldn’t sweat, that he made while visibly sweating on camera.
“And forget the whole Pizza Express alibi, as that carries about as much weight as his assertion that he doesn’t know who his accuser is.”
He continued, “No, we are probably going to have to admit that he was at Jeffrey Epstein’s place, but we will try and convince everyone that the events on the evenings in question, in a house crammed with half-naked teenage girls – most of whom were there against their will – was nothing more than a ‘work meeting’.
“We’ve seen this work well with other high-profile criminals recently. It seems the British public love nothing more than to believe that obvious criminality was nothing more than a work meeting.
He added, “What’s that, where did we get the idea for that defence strategy? Oh, it just came to us around lunchtime today, out of the blue.
“In a work meeting.”