Nobody in your office doing a damn thing today

author avatar by 2 months ago
NewsThump Needs Your Help

Your office is a hive of procrastination today.

With Christmas right around the corner, neither you nor your colleagues will be doing anything productive whatsoever.

“Management have long since gone on leave and they can shove it if they think we’re actually doing anything today” confirmed your colleague, Hayley Rice, pouring her second scotch of the morning.

“It;s not like we have proper jobs like firemen, factory workers or builders. We sell office supplies to other offices who similarly couldn’t give a fuck today.”

“The consequences of us not doing our jobs today are precisely zero. Drink?”

NewsThump best selling notebooks

Other colleague, Simon Williams, beamed “I’ve photocopied my arse seventeen times.”

“We’ll have go on the fire extinguishers later. We’re going to give Tim in accounts a good dousing. The mardy prick has it coming.”

“I’ve dared Sarah to have a shit on the floor. I don’t THINK she’ll do it but you never know. It’s Christmas and anything can happen.”

“Then we’ll go home at half past two.”