Nigel Farage is once again pushing his own brand of Gin, this time with a guarantee that you are just a single litre of the stuff away from believing Brexit was a good idea.
The British-made spirit bears an image of Farage himself, out walking his dog, and is said to contain mind-altering properties that when taken in sufficient quantities can take a rational mind and make it believe any old nonsense.
Farage told consumers, “I’ve always said that Brexit was a brilliant idea, and I won’t let a little thing like the overwhelming evidence to the contrary convince me otherwise. But, if you are someone who likes evidence, and experts, and believes the evidence of your own eyes, then I have good news – you can STILL think Brexit is a good idea.
“All it requires is a litre of Farage Gin, and a nice quiet place in which to drink it.
“Trust me, once you’ve enjoyed the very last drop, you’ll believe Brexit is the best thing to happen to this country since the war.”
Health officials have warned again consuming Farage Gin in any quantity whatsoever, revealing that repeated exposure can not only lead to you thinking Brexit is a good idea, but also into believing that all of the nation’s problems are down to the arrival of migrants in small boats.
Dr Simon Williams told us “Everyone knows that alcohol kills brain cells, but it appears Farage Gin is particularly adept in that regard.
“Regular drinkers have already lost so much brain capacity they told us they would be willing to vote for Nigel Farage in a general election.
“Keep drinking it and eventually you’ll find yourself in the gutter, agreeing with people like Laurence Fox.”