Exorcists called in to investigate “destructive poltergeist” discover that family just owns a cat

author avatar by 8 months ago

A family plagued by a terrible spectral presence which wreaked havoc in their home at night turned out just to own a cat, it has emerged.

The Williams family appealed to help from spiritual experts and exorcists after a mysterious force pushed fragile objects off tables and the mantlepiece, tore up soft furnishings and took a huge poo on the rug.

The nightly attacks stopped as soon as their pet was put out for the night, leading to the source of the ghostly terror being formally identified.

“It was terrifying,” said homeowner Simon Williams, 43.

“We’d be kept awake at night by an unearthly wailing and occasionally a force would enter your room as you slept and attack your toes.

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“When you came down in the morning, there would often be glasses broken on the floor, and once it looked like someone had put the curtains through a shredder.

“Turns out it was just our cat deciding it was hungry at 3am, or practising his climbing.”

The family had never suspected their pet before as it spent all day asleep so they just assumed it was a fat lazy lump rather than a whirling dervish of domestic destruction when nobody was looking.

“All in all, I think we’d have preferred a ghost,” Simon told us.

“If we try and get rid of that the RSPCA don’t threaten to prosecute.”

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