Man who spent two years insisting we should keep politics out of sport now quite keen to see a bit more politics in sport

author avatar by 9 months ago

Football fans who have spent the last couple of years bemoaning politics in sport in the form of kneeling, armbands, laces and other gestures, are for some reason today pretty keen to see more politics in sport.

In a stunning display of ideological gymnastics, local football aficionado Simon “Backpedal” Williams, who once vehemently insisted on the sanctity of a politics-free sporting sphere, has suddenly discovered a newfound appreciation for political statements on the football field.

Simon has become known far and wide across social media in recent years for his tireless crusade against the mingling of politics and football, often seen berating targets as wide as Gareth Southgate, Gary Lineker, and Wembley stadium itself

Until today, he was seen as a beacon of apolitical steadfastness in ‘a world gone mad’ with players taking the knee for Black Lives Matter and sporting rainbow armbands for Pride Month. His mantra was simple: keep the football field sacred and free from the messy world of politics.

However, following recent hostilities between Hamas and Israel, Simon’s tune changed overnight. Suddenly, the football pitch was transformed in his eyes into a hallowed ground for political activism—provided it supported the right kind of politics, of course.

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Now, Simon is tirelessly campaigning for players to don armbands bearing the Star of David, a symbol of solidarity with Israel.

He told us, “Why won’t Wembley light the arch in the colours of Israel? Why hasn’t Gary Lineker come out and condemn Hamas? Why are the England team not wearing black armbands but ONLY for the victims in Israel?”

When confronted with the glaring inconsistency of his stance, Simon was quick to explain, “Well, this is different. This is about supporting the people who I think are the good guys. Football pitches should be a place where we take a stand against evil, but only against the right kind of evil, mind you.

“And that’s the evil that I personally don’t like very much.”