King Charles’ phone has been pinging all morning with LinkedIn notifications from distant acquaintances congratulating him on his one-year work anniversary.
Charles became king one year ago today, a landmark helpfully tracked by the business social network full of people who would be happy to congratulate a vague acquaintance for a successful bowel movement.
A bemused Charles asked an aide, “This one says, ‘Well done bro, you’re totally smashing it’ – what does that even mean? Is he suggesting I’ve broken something?
“I don’t understand, this guy said I’ve been doing a great job, and that he has something called a ‘mastermind group’ I might be interested in joining, because it’s packed with ‘like-minded executives in similar roles’.
“Here’s one congratulating me on a brilliant first year, and asking if I’d be interested in a career move because apparently the ‘market is good’ and there are other organisations looking for a talented monarch.
“And now LinkedIn is suggesting I upgrade to assist with my job search and recruitment efforts?”
Aides then removed the phone from the King’s hands, before suggesting he might prefer a quiet conversation with the cheese plant in the corner.