HMP Strangeways FC disappointed as audacious transfer window move for Ryan Giggs falls through

With news emerging that former Wales international Ryan Giggs has been cleared of assault and controlling behaviour, Strangeways residents have reacted with anger and disappointment and failing to secure their top summer target.  

Team manager and convicted burglar Simon Williams confirmed, “Gutted. This would have been a great summer signing, he would have certainly lifted morale.

“We have been hoping Giggsy would come for some time now, ever since we heard that he had been accused of assaulting his ex-girlfriend.

“Obviously we were hoping he would be found guilty, so that we could draft him into the team by the end of the summer transfer window deadline.

“We could really do with a new winger, too, as Crazy Tony from B wing is due to be let out next month, and there is a real gap in the team for a nippy left winger who is also quite tidy with his fists.

“Giggs would have added some great experience to the team and we know he would have fit in well with the lads, most of who are Utd fans, so don’t care about his past.”

Asked what type of salary the former Premiership player could have expected to receive had he signed for the prison team, we were told, “Four cigs a week, and not getting his face smashed in.”

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