Doctors confident they are close to a cure for voting Tory

author avatar by 12 months ago

Doctors are increasingly confident that they are close to finding a cure for voting Tory.

“There have been some incredibly exciting developments over the past year,” explained Doctor Simon Williams, an expert in self-destructive behaviour.

“Interestingly, the more we learn about the pathology of voting Tory, the more convinced we become that it could be cured by behavioural therapy rather than pharmacological intervention. This is obviously, cheaper and less prone to side-effects.

“I genuinely think that within twelve months, we could have reached a stage where the majority of Tory voters are cured.”

Voting Tory has become one of the biggest killers to British people in the last thirteen years, with millions believed to have died due to voting Tory, and many millions more suffering mental or physical ill-health.

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Whilst the developments towards a cure are encouraging, there are still concerns.

“Well, as we saw during the pandemic, some people don’t want the cure. They won’t trust it. So, there are going to be some people who will continue to suffer from voting Tory because they didn’t take the cure when offered.

“The biggest concern though is that we’re not sure how long the cure will last. Some people might show a complete recovery from voting Tory initially, but that could wear off, and they could find themselves suffering from voting Tory again within a few years.”

As the cure for voting Tory is still some months away, medical advice remains the same; look around at everyone and everything. Recognise that is the result of voting Tory. Try not to.

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