James Webb telescope finds over one-thousand earth-like tax havens

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Billionaires may soon be hiding their money on a planet eleven light-years away.

NASA says the James Webb telescope has found over a thousand earth-like tax havens orbiting star systems that are prepared to turn a blind eye.

Astronomer Simon Williams said, “Analysis of the light from these stars has detected elements such as carbon, oxygen and large-scale financial irregularities.

“These planets fall inside the so-called Goldilocks zone where the Tory bears have their big snouts in the porridge.”

Williams believes that one planet, in particular, dubbed OSB2016-XG, has an atmosphere capable of supporting corrupt right-wing bastards and a branch of Goldman Sachs.

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As luck would have it, Zarg, Emperor of OSB2016-XG, is a good friend of The Chancellor of the Exchequer, Jeremy Hunt.

Williams added, “This planet takes a staggering 1240 days to orbit its parent star due to the amount of cash stashed there.”

When asked whether he had received a generous gift from Zarg , Hunt replied, “No comment.”

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