Billionaires may soon be hiding their money on a planet eleven light-years away.
NASA says the James Webb telescope has found over a thousand earth-like tax havens orbiting star systems that are prepared to turn a blind eye.
Astronomer Simon Williams said, “Analysis of the light from these stars has detected elements such as carbon, oxygen and large-scale financial irregularities.
“These planets fall inside the so-called Goldilocks zone where the Tory bears have their big snouts in the porridge.”
Williams believes that one planet, in particular, dubbed OSB2016-XG, has an atmosphere capable of supporting corrupt right-wing bastards and a branch of Goldman Sachs.
As luck would have it, Zarg, Emperor of OSB2016-XG, is a good friend of The Chancellor of the Exchequer, Jeremy Hunt.
Williams added, “This planet takes a staggering 1240 days to orbit its parent star due to the amount of cash stashed there.”
When asked whether he had received a generous gift from Zarg , Hunt replied, “No comment.”