“We clearly have the good judgement required to form a government,” insists Labour party that selected coke-addicted fraud as an MP

author avatar by 1 year ago

It’s not just the Tories who can fill the government benches with criminals, perverts and ne’er-do-wells, according to the Labour party today.

After former Labour MP, Jared O’Mara, was sentenced to four years in prison for attempting to fraudulently claim £52,000 in an attempt to pay drug debts, the official opposition insisted this is proof they are ready to lead.

A Labour spokesperson told us, “Everyone knows that it’s impossible to lead to country if you are squeaky clean from top to bottom. You need a few poorly behaved and criminal MPs in your numbers to show you can get the job done, and Jared O’Mara demonstrates we can do just that when we need to.

“Sure, it’s not a sexual assault, or watching ‘adult’ websites in the chamber, but trying to use thousands in taxpayer money to buy nose candy is pretty hardcore, I’m sure you’ll agree.

“The Tories have led the way in criminality amongst their MPs for far too long, and they will no longer have it all their own way. Jared is just the start. I mean, our selection criteria in 2015 was as watertight as a decade-old sieve, so I’d be surprised if there aren’t one or two more to come.

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“But as long as we’re in government by then, who cares?”

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