Scientists warn lab rat with artificially extended life has become very right wing

A lab rat engineered to live well beyond its years has developed some very unsavoury opinions, according to scientists.

Elderly rodent, “Sima” Williams, who was reared on blood plasma from younger rats in some f**ked up experiment, now refuses to be handled by certain researchers and has developed a taste for GB News. 

Furthermore, the forthright creature insists that her cage is lined with shredded bits of the Daily Mail and is clinging to the notion that Brexit was a good idea. 

Professor, John Goodier, said, “People reckon this experiment could have huge benefits for humanity in terms of longer, more productive, and healthier lives, but we really just wanted to test the theory that as  you age you become more right wing.

“Sima spends her days sucking on Werther’s Originals and will not accept treats from researchers of colour.

“Our results suggest that it is possible to extend life in mammals, but not without biting Rajeev so hard that he needed a blood transfusion. 

Goodie added, “Now our challenge is to create a generation of elderly rodents who don’t approve of sending migrants to Rwanda and generally view the placement of gunboats in the Channel with a healthy scepticism. ” 

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