If Boris needed £800k, why didn’t he try ditching avocados and cancelling Netflix?

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Boris Johnson is being criticised today for trying to borrow vast amounts of money with the help of his friends, without first trying all the money-saving techniques so popular with his right-wing colleagues.

As reports emerge that Johnson handed a top BBC job to a friend who helped him borrow £800k, millions of young people have asked whether Boris first used many of the tried and tested methods of saving money recommended by Conservative opinion pieces.

31-year-old London renter Jane Williams told us, “Whenever I point out that I don’t have enough money, and that I can’t borrow enough to buy a house, no one ever suggests, ‘have you tried offering a friend a really good job to help you get the money you need?’.

“It’s always ‘have you cancelled Netflix?’ ‘Do you still use a gym?’ ‘How many avocados have you eaten this month?’ ‘Do you still have both of your kidneys?’ All the usual stuff.

“I don’t see why people aren’t suggesting the same for Boris? Are we saying it’s okay for him to be SO terrible with money that he can earn over a hundred grand a year, live rent-free in a massive London home, and STILL need to borrow £800k?

“It must be quite embarrassing for him actually, because one of his own MPs insists you can feed yourself for 30p a meal, so there was probably no need to borrow all that money after all.”