Young black men offer to stop and search Met Police officers to ensure public safety

In an attempt to keep the streets of London safe for women, black youths have said they would reluctantly carry out random searches and identification of Met coppers, explaining that ending the plague of sexual assaults superseded the need for political correctness.

Simon Williams, a 15-year-old schoolgoer from Hackney who often gets asked where he’s really from although his family have lived in the same area for 4 generations, said that he understood the public’s reluctance at frisking coppers randomly but it was a vital tool against sex crimes.

“Let’s be clear. I’m not saying all Met Police officers are rapists. But we must acknowledge that there is a problem with the way they see relationships, as their banter shows.

“Statistically, you are at a much greater risk of being sexually abused by a police officer than any other profession. I take no pleasure in having to pull over Scotland Yard detectives and asking them where they are going and why. But if they have nothing to hide there is no reason it has to go badly.

“We also hope that these interactions will perhaps get coppers to reflect on what has become of their community. I hear a lot from woke lefties explaining that systemic prejudice against peelers plays a part in their disproportionate representation in the crime stats. But everyone thinks taxi drivers are wankers but you don’t see them hunting women for sport.

“Yes, these methods are unpleasant and yes, it can come across as persecution, but I deal with Met coppers every day and, trust me, the only thing they understand is the cosh.

“It’s a cultural thing.”

Grammar Police, to serve and correct – the only police you can really trust!

Advertisement

WANT TO GET RIDOF ALL THE ADS?

Support topical satire for the price of one coffee month!

SUBSCRIBE HERE →