‘The Matrix is responsible for my Mum’s smashed ornaments’ insists child

author avatar by 3 months ago

A Basingstoke child who often plays ball games indoors when his parents are out has claimed The Matrix is responsible for smashing his mum’s favourite knick-knacks.

Little Jake Williams, 9, says he watched in horror as The Matrix came to his house while his Mum and Dad were at a garden centre on Sunday afternoon.

Speaking to journalists, he said, “I was just sat watching a repeat of the FA Cup games on iPlayer, like a good boy.

“I wasn’t kicking a tennis ball about the living room pretending to be Marcus Rashford, because I know you shouldn’t play football indoors: it’s an outdoor game.

“But then all of a sudden, The Matrix burst in chucking vases on the floor. It was very scary. The Matrix is very powerful, obviously.”

Reportedly among the damaged items was a plant pot and one of those Greek-looking statues of a nudie lady.

The police have taken a keen interest in Williams’ case, given he predicted precisely this outcome to his friends just a few short days ago.

One officer on the case told us, “He said to his friends at school on Monday that he thought The Matrix was going to frame him for breaking something at home and making it look like he was playing football when he shouldn’t be, and now here we are, just a few days later, his prophecy come true.

“There is no other explanation than the ephemeral Matrix going around framing people for things they definitely did not do.”

However, some sources have questioned the story.

One close family friend told us, “Jake’s little sister Suzy was in the house at the time and says it had nothing to do with the Matrix.

“She says Jonny did it with a tennis ball and then threatened to cut her Barbie’s hair off if she snitched on him. Though Jake went on to dismiss her as ‘an agent of the Matrix so of course she would say that’.”

Police are asking for any help in identifying the Matrix.