‘Nice’ biscuits to be renamed ‘bang average at best’ biscuits

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Nice biscuits are to be renamed ‘bang average at best’ biscuits under new legislation, it has been revealed today. 

The biscuit, which is actually named after and pronounced like the city in France, and has nothing to do with the taste, has been confusing shoppers for years into thinking that they are called ‘Nice’ biscuits because they are quite nice tasting, which they are clearly not. 

Simon Williams, head of Biscuit Naming in the UK, confirmed, “This should have been done years ago, to be honest. They are not that nice at all.

“We have decided to change the name of the ‘Nice’ biscuit to ‘Bang average at best’ biscuit with immediate effect.

“Obviously this will provide a clearer explanation of what the shopper is likely to purchase when they are choosing their biscuits, and hopefully save on some disappointment.

“If people still want to purchase them, even when there are other far superior options available, then that’s entirely up to them. 

Asked if any other biscuits might follow with name changes we were told, “Yes – Clubs – because they are clearly chocolate bars.”