‘Migrant boats put us all at risk’ insists man who refuses to wear a mask in Tesco when he’s ill

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After the number of asylum seekers who crossed the channel last year was confirmed to be over 40,000, a guy you know is calling for the government to take even more action to protect the country from the risk of migrants, despite flatly refusing to wear a mask in Tesco when he’s ill.

Simon Williams, 45, has such a poor grasp of risk and probability that he believes the nation should be more worried about terrorist attacks that have killed 7 people since 2019, than a virus that has killed 210,000 of his fellow citizens.

Williams explained, “I can’t believe the migrant crisis hasn’t spurred the country into a new frenzy of vigilance where we look with suspicion upon anyone who looks a bit different to us, and I’m absolutely stunned it hasn’t led the government to implement strict new rules on people who look a bit terrorist-y.

“We should be doing everything within our power to prevent terrorism, because clearly it is a huge risk to the people of this nation, and we should all – every one of us – do whatever is necessary to protect the British people.”

However, when asked why he doesn’t wear a mask when he feels ill and has to go to the supermarket, he told us, “Well, that’s different. That’s an affront to democracy and infringes on my freedoms which are enshrined in the Magna Carta.

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“And don’t go saying it’s killed 210,000 people, because that’s just scaremongering. Most of those people were really old so don’t count, and anyway, they died with the virus, not of the virus. Big difference. Plus, masks don’t work, I can show you literally dozens of YouTube videos that prove it.”

Non-moron and former colleague of Williams, Derek Smith, told us, “No-one is saying ‘don’t worry about terrorism’, merely that you need to put the risk of terrorism into context, and if you genuinely think terrorism from asylum seekers is the thing the country to needs to worry about above all else, then you need to give your head a wobble.

“Imagine, if you will, if terrorists had killed 210,000 people in the last two years, and I was telling you the REAL risk to society was a virus that had killed seven people – you’d think I was a lunatic, and quite rightly so.”