Gareth Southgate to stay on as England manager until Euro 2024 quarter-final defeat

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Gareth Southgate has agreed to stay on as England manager until the Euro 2024 quarter-final defeat against Spain, or maybe Italy.

With Southgate recently stating that he was ‘conflicted’ about his future following defeat against France in the World Cup, the FA have confirmed that the 52-year-old will now lead the national team to a quarter-final exit in the next Euros in 2024.

A spokesperson for the FA confirmed “We are delighted. Gareth has agreed to remain as England manager until the quarter-final stage of the next Euros, where we will inevitably crash out as soon as we play anyone decent. 

“This is fantastic for England because we will play really well again in the qualifiers and indeed the group stage and everyone will think we are going to win it. Again. 

“And then we can all say how well everyone has done and how proud we are of the team before promptly flying home to look forward to the next World Cup.

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“Where we will probably make the quarters.”

Asked if the contract could be extended if England were to win the final under Southgate, we were told “Ha ha ha, yeah sure of course.”