The poor boy mentioned in the Queen hit “Bohemian Rhapsody” is a drain on society, the Department For Work and Pensions has said.
The Government department listed several reasons why they will be sanctioning his and his family’s benefits for the foreseeable future.
A spokesperson said: “Firstly, he killed someone, so I mean, that’s a biggy.
“Then we have to talk about how he is clearly on drugs all the time. If you can’t tell the difference between real life and fantasy then you need to get off those narcotics and sort your life out.
“Then we know that nobody loves him. Probably because of his aggressive drug use and murdering.
“He’s poor entirely because of his own actions, and he needs to take personal responsibility for that. Cutting his benefits should immediately rectify the situation and we hope that he doesn’t ruin any more lives again.”
The spokesperson went on to say that should anyone see the little silhouettes of a man, they should immediately hand them in to police for their antisocial behaviour.