Serial entrepreneur and perpetual social media accident waiting to happen, Elon Musk, has begged friends to take his phone off him whilst he still has a company to lose.
Musk, who can make rockets land in unison is also plagued by what is known as ‘Internet Brotrollistis’, an incurable condition which makes people talk utter shit from behind a keyboard whilst sleep-deprived and hopelessly off their tits.
Brotrollitis is usually fairly harmless, as most sufferers don’t even have a job, never mind a multi-billion dollar corporation to look after.
The entrepreneur is understood to have begged friends to confiscate his phone, and then called them all paedos on Twitter when they actually tried to do so.
“He can’t help himself,” friends told us. “He has this terrible compulsion to talk smack on the Internet and then get all upset and defensive when staff quit, people mock him, and his company stock falls 10% in a single day.
“But then, despite all that, he then goes and does it the very next day, and the day after that as well. If he would just stick to launching cars into space he’d be absolutely fine, but the voices make him take to social media to act like a complete and utter twat and cost investors a fortune and there’s nothing anyone can do about that.”
Other sufferers of Brotrollitis have defended Musk by asking sarcastic Internet commenters how many corporations they’ve built lately, which is true, but on the other hand, we’ve not earned any random cave-divers death threats either.