Liz Truss will freeze energy costs, in a move which will cost £100bn.
The latest Tory attempt at a Prime Minister is widely believed to have agreed to the move following consultation from her newest advisor, Dr Evil, a graduate of Evil Medical School.
“I think you’ll find the plan checks out,” confirmed Dr Evil, holding his little finger to his lips and smiling in a suspicious manner.
“Yes, we will ‘borrow’ the money, not to keep, and certainly not to spend on frickin’ sharks with frickin’ laser beams on their heads.
“We will definitely use that money to…uh…HELP people…with things.”
A Tory spokesperson said ”Dr Evil is a dark-hearted, malcontented and duplicitous individual, and he’s fitting in splendidly at Downing Street.
“While his field of expertise may be evil medicine, Liz Truss has been immediately impressed with his plans for the economy, and indeed with his sense of humour.
“In fact, I heard the pair of them laughing together maniacally for what seemed like two or three minutes. He must have told her an absolutely corking joke.”