Wednesday 7 September 2022 by Daniel Hopkins

Global happiness increases slightly as Brendan Fraser makes a return


Brendan Fraser returns

The general happiness of the world has increased now that Brendan Fraser has made his long-awaited return to Hollywood.

The Mummy star has endured a difficult time over the last decade – including speaking out about a sexual assault and suffering with depression.

But the world was able to smile for a while as Brendan received a huge round of applause following the screening of his new film at the Venice Film Festival.

The much-loved actor was brought to tears and so was everyone else, as the man who featured in the lives of many young people growing up got back to what he does best.

Scientist John Matthews said, “We have been measuring the amount of global happiness over the last few years – yes, it is a real job, shut up.

“As you can imagine, it has been in quite low supply of late. Covid, terrorism and that God-awful final season of Game of Thrones – it’s been a nightmare for a lot of people.

“But seeing Brendan back on the big screen has seen our overall happiness rating move from 1.7 to 2.5. It might not seem like a lot, but it sure is something.”

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