Monday 22 August 2022 by Mark Molloy

Criminals vote to go on all out strike due to lack of available barristers


Old Bailey criminal court

Criminals in England and Wales have voted to go on an indefinite, uninterrupted strike from next month due to a lack of available barristers. 

With news emerging today that criminal barristers are set to strike in England and Wales from next month, criminals across the country have immediately moved to combat the problem by refusing engage in any criminal activity until the issue over pay is resolved. 

Burglar and part time drug dealer Simon Williams confirmed, “No more crime from us until this is resolved.

“We have been given no option but to call an immediate strike to cease all criminal activity due to a lack of available barristers to defend us in the coming weeks.

“The members of the criminal community have not taken this step lightly, I can assure you, but we have been left with no option whatsoever but take action in order to protect our interests.

“When we commit our crimes we expect to be defended at public expense by highly skilled and motivated barristers, and this is clearly not going to be the case.

“So unless we have assurances that our barristers will be paid more to defend us, then we will have no hesitation in carrying out our threat to go and get a job.

“As long as it’s only an hour or so a day, after midday of course. And doesn’t involves actual work.”

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