Following news of Boris’ impending resignation as Prime Minister, there are now work events breaking out up and down the land, according to reports.
Upon hearing the news of the resignation, one office worker from Maidstone, Simon Williams, popped out to the nearest convenience store to buy some refreshments typically associated with work events.
“Naturally, I grabbed three bottles of champagne, a luxury sharing cheese platter, and eight bottles of wine,” he told us merrily.
“And some paper work event hats for my colleagues to wear, and some work event poppers for them to let off, of course!”
He added, “I did try to find a karaoke machine, as no work event is complete without one of those, but sadly this Tesco Express doesn’t sell them.”
A spokesperson for the Labour Party has confirmed that there are several work events going on at their headquarters right now, but went to great lengths to stress that Keir Starmer is only drinking tap water at the work event he is attending.