Boris Johnson to be put in Bagpuss’ shop window along with all the other lost and broken things nobody wants any more

author avatar by 5 months ago

The Conservative Party has announced it will put Boris Johnson in Bagpuss’ shop window along with all the other lost and broken things nobody wants any more.

Party succession plans are for the Prime Minister to be dumped outside Ten Downing Street with all his stuffing hanging out, where a little girl will find him and put in her basket because maybe someone will want him again one day.

“I don’t know how the man came to be so lost, but I hope that Bagpuss can sing his magical song and make him right again,” Emily, the shop proprietor, told us.

“But last year Bagpuss was asked to fix Brexit, but not even a machine powered by chocolate biscuits could to that, so it’s currently sitting around the back by the bins, so fixing Boris might be beyond even him,” she added

“One day perhaps Nadine Dorries will see him in the window and come in and take him away again.”

A spokesman for the Conservative Party said that a vote for a new party leader would take place as soon as possible.

“Ideally the next Prime Minister will be drawn from a gang of helpful mice who want to fix things, but realistically we’re looking at an articulated know-it-all woodpecker or a singing stuffed toad with a banjo,” they said.