BREAKING: Loads of mad shit!

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Loads of mad shit has happened, and in the few moments it took you to read that, loads more mad shit has probably happened because shit is absolutely mad right now.

The mad shit follows a day of mad shit that was triggered late the day before when some insanely mad shit started happening.

Simon Williams is an expert in all this mad shit.

“This shit is fucking mad, man,” he exclaimed, crying and laughing at the same time.

“Just when you think shit couldn’t get any madder then a load more mad shit happens and then while you’re processing that, fuck me if a load more mad shit doesn’t happen!

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“I tell you man, shit has never been this mad. Ever. In the history of mad shit, this shit is the absolute maddest.”

Bloody hell. Just while Mr Williams was speaking, a load more mad shit happened. Christ almighty. Everyone needs to just go away and lie down for a bit but that is currently impossible because just when you think there’s no more mad shit and you can just close your eyes for a minute then A LOAD OF MAD SHIT HAPPENS!

It is expected that today will see loads and loads more mad shit throughout the day, so sit tight, motherfuckers!