Wednesday 6 July 2022 by Neil Tollfree

Boris Johnson to announce league of superheroes in this week’s desperate bid to save leadership


Boris Johnson superheroes

“Prime” Minister Boris Johnson is set to announce the formation of a league of superheroes to battle crime as part of this week’s desperate bid to save position.

“Boris is very excited,” explained a Number 10 aide.

“He thinks that a league of superheroes could be just the thing to get his government back on track after the 167 recent catastrophes.”

Mr Johnson apparently came up with the idea yesterday morning when he was watching Avengers: Infinity War instead of trying to develop a strategy for getting the country through the cost-of-living crisis.

“He was ever so excited,” continued the aide.

“We thought he’d hit upon a solution for the economy to begin with but instead he started going on about superheroes. Apparently, we’re going to assemble a ‘world-beating’ league of superheroes.”

Although the specifics will be announced later, some details have already been leaked. The league of superheroes will be led by Captain Brexit and will include Boob-woman, who has some sort of super-powered breasts, and Superiorum Man, who has the power of speak Latin.

The superheroes will be dedicated to protect the British people, specifically Boris Johnson, from injustices, like being remove from one’s position for whatever reason.

It is understood that next week’s desperate bid to save Boris Johnson’s leadership will be an announcement of free jetpacks for everyone, and the following week’s will be a plan to win the Falklands War again.

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