Sunday 3 July 2022 by Neil Tollfree

Man who got today’s Wordle in two thinks someone gives a shit


Man completes Wordle in two goes

A man who got today’s Wordle solution in only two guesses seems to be labouring under the illusion that someone, somewhere actually gives a shit.

Simon Williams, a bear baiter from Chelmsford, Essex, was so proud of guessing a five-letter word after having previously guessed a different five-letter word that he posted his achievement on both Facebook and Twitter, seemingly under the impressions that plaudits and congratulations would be forthcoming.

“Two guesses, eh? I mean, you don’t see that a lot,” said Mr Williams, proudly.

“I don’t always post my Wordle results but, you know, two guesses! I mean, I think people are going to be pretty impressed with that. I think they’re going to look at me in a new light. I’ve just texted mum to tell her because she’s not on Facebook or Twitter, so I’m sure she’ll be getting back to me in a minute.”

However, it does seem that Mr Williams’s assumption that someone gives a shit about his achievement may be misplaced. Eleanor Gay is Mr Williams’s Sister-in-Law.

“Is he still banging on about that bloody Wordle? Honestly mate, get over yourself. You guessed a word. I’ve guessed a word before, even my eldest has guessed a word and she’s… well, she’s never going to be troubling Mensa, put it that way.

“You win Mastermind? I’ll buy you a cake, but guessing a Wordle in two? Whatever, mate.”

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