Ukraine has won Eurovision.
Most surprised was the alleged “Prime Minister”, Boris Johnson, who offered his own brand of congratulations.
“Ukraine wins Chucklevision!” declared the big blonde prick, punching the air and accidentally twatting his hand on a lightbulb.
“Tremendous stuff. I knew they would. I understand Ukraine is the HOME of Chucklevision, invented by Barry Chuckleovsky and…er…the other one…
“How did they win? I missed the live feed… did they carry a wardrobe up some stairs in a more amusing way than anybody else?”
A weary-looking government spokesperson said, ”Yes, he means Eurovision, no, he doesn’t mean Chucklevision. He never means the first thing he says.
“Just come to me first and ask, I’m in the know.
“Anyway, congrats to the bloke who sang that song what won Ukraine the singing. Good stuff. Barry Chuckle would be proud.”