Dad is still hammering the number to vote for Spain’s Eurovision entry, even though Ukraine won the contest yesterday.
Simon Williams, 47, is typically indifferent to Eurovision and tolerates it being on in the same room as him.
“But when Spain came on, dad sat bolt upright and told all of us to shut the fuck up, which he hasn’t done before,” confirmed Simon’s son, Dan, 14.
“Then when it had finished, he rewound it and watched it again. Then he went to the bathroom for quite a long time.
“Then he came back and just dialled the same number on his phone over and over again. I think he was voting for Spain. It was quite a catchy song I guess.”
Simon’s wife commented, ”He didn’t come to bed. I tried to tell him that Ukraine had won, but he kept dialling the same number over and over. He’s like a man possessed.”
We tried to ask Simon for comment, but he said nothing other than ”Spain ladies” while rewinding to watch their performance again.
A representative from the Oxford English Dictionary has since confirmed that the phrase “voting for Spain” will enter the pantheon of masturbatory phrases alongside “knocking one out” and ”five knuckle shuffle”.