After Boris Johnson likened the fight for survival by the Ukrainian people to the UK referendum on EU membership, Ukrainians have taken the prime minister’s advice and deployed a big red bus covered in lies to repel the invading forces.
Ukrainian military strategist Simon Shevchuk told us, “Boris is a very clever man, because so few people were able to draw the direct analogous relationship between Brexit and Russia’s invasion of Ukraine – which is why we would do well to listen to him.
“Brexit was a stunning victory for Boris, and as such we will learn in any way we can from him. Starting with the big red bus covered in lies.
“Normally you would say lying to people is a bad thing, but in times of war it’s actually a necessity, and that’s why Boris’ bus was perfectly acceptable, because he was at war at the time.”
Ukrainian forces have subsequently deployed large red buses at strategic points around Kyiv and Mariupol, and they are already paying dividends.
Shevchuk went on, “The ones around Kyiv say ‘We know Putin is dead, go back to Russia instead’, which Russian forces seem all too willing to believe when they see it. It’s like if you write something on a big red bus then no one feels the need to fact check it.
“I mean, we’re not complaining, it feels like Boris hit on a really good formula, and now we get to benefit from it.
“We’ve diverted any funds we were planning to waste on munitions-carrying drones to buying more red buses instead. When money is tight, you have to focus on the things that really work.”