Kepa’s missed penalty shot down after entering Ukrainian airspace

Kepa Arrizabalaga‘s missed penalty has been taken out by the Ghost of Kyiv, according to reports this evening.

The Chelsea keeper’s missed penalty was booted clean out of the stadium, over the English Channel and didn’t come down until it entered Ukrainian airspace, which resulted in Liverpool taking home the Carabao Cup.

“Just a football, but it was launched by a Russian-owned asset so we take no chances,” confirmed the Ghost of Kyiv.

“It has been, how you say, shot to shit. Although how it got to 30,000 feet over Ukrainian airspace, none of us will ever know.

“A what? A missed penalty? From ENGLAND? Who kicked it? Eddie Hall?

“The Russians WISH my aim was that bad.”

A sheepish Kepa mumbled “sorry”.

“Missing the penalty at all was pretty bad. I didn’t mean to inconvenience the Ukrainian Air Force. You lot have got enough going on.

“I imagine losing the Carabao Cup isn’t really comparable but I feel bad about the whole thing. I hope that helps.”

“It does not,” confirmed the Ghost, taking out two more Russian fighter jets with his eyes shut.

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