Dinosaurs announce plan to ‘learn to live with’ planet-destroying asteroid

author avatar by 2 years ago

After long discussions and internal conflict amongst the dinosaur leadership, dinosaurs have finally settled on a plan to ‘learn to live with’ an asteroid that is on course to smash into earth, killing every living thing on the planet.

“You can’t spend your life living in fear,” explained the fat, stupid, morally repugnant, borderline-sociopathic dinosaur with shit hair who somehow had managed to end up as the dinosaur leader.

“It’s time we learnt to live with the asteroid that’s going to kill us all and just get back to normal.”

The dinosaur leader then cited some discoveries of good news about the asteroid made by a group of dinosaurs who had been paid to come up with good news about the asteroid.

“I mean, we’ve recently learnt the asteroid isn’t as severe as we first thought, and it probably won’t kill every living thing on the planet – some bacteria will survive, and some of those smaller mammals too! Also, we’re reasonably confident that if it does kill every dinosaur on the planet then some new form of life will develop over the course of the next few million years.

NewsThump Hoodies

“So, ignore the doomsters and the gloomsters and let’s get dinosaurs back on track!”

Dinosaur Simon Williamsasaurus was pleased with the new plan.

“Thank heaven for that. I’ve always thought that an asteroid that’s going to kill us all won’t be as bad as they’ve been saying. We’ve just got to get on with our lives.”

The decision to learn to live with the asteroid was a difficult one, but the dinosaur leader believed it would work out for the best.

“Dinosaurs may well become extinct, but the key thing is that the economy won’t be impacted, so I think that, on the whole, this new plan is good news for dinosaurs.”

NewsThump Best sellers