Disrespectful farmer has poppies in his field

A disrespectful farmer has been slammed for having poppies in one of his fields ahead of Remembrance Sunday.

The poppy is best known as a symbol of Britain’s superiority over everyone else and is used to commemorate the winning of two World Wars and one World Cup.

It is seen as incredibly disrespectful to use a poppy for anything other than wearing on one’s lapel when appearing on Question Time to shout angrily about foreigners.

“I couldn’t believe it,” explained Simon Williams, a manure-taster from Chelmsford.

“I was just taking the wife out for some nice, respectful Remembrance Sunday dogging when I saw that someone had put all these poppies just in a field, right there in the mud and dirt.

“It brought a tear to my eye to think of how some farmer would do that after so many of our brave boys died to bring home that World Cup in 1945 when we defeated the rest of the world at football and war.”

Showing a remarkable presence of mind, the quick-thinking Mr Williams put together a mob of stout Englishmen to go and smash up the farmer’s car and shout racist epithets at him.

“Let that be a lesson to anyone who disrespects our poppies and country and Brexit.

“We’ll come and shit up your car.”

It is understood that Tory MP Mark Francois, who fought and died in a number of wars, is recovering well in hospital after spontaneously combusting at the news that someone had been disrespectful about a poppy.